Joe Lestrange //
jujumacaronie.tumblr.com // all posts are mine except stated otherwise. Enjoy! <3

Dear Jesus, when will I be able to afford nice clothes and shoes without doing a ritual involving baby goats and pentagons at 3am? Amen.

Notes
2
Posted
4 months ago

Untitled

Ever since I was a kid, I didn’t have much friends. I would always go to the arcade alone, playing games by myself, sometimes getting into fights when I defeat my opponents who were people I didn’t know and who were a lot older than me. When Gameboys came into the scene, I saved up my allowance to get myself one of those wonders. When computers were the rage, I was always the last man standing in internet cafes, wasting my life on online gaming, and then the laptops came.. oh Christ they were heaven sent. I learned to download, rip, convert and freeload any game that was out there. It was my forte, my profession.
 
In case you’re wondering, I’m a walking corpse by day, obsessed gamer by night. Barely survived middle school, and high school is taking its toll on my  night time activities.
 
It’s three o’clock in the afternoon, and I just woke up from a long night’s job of pwning idiots on MMO’s. I heard something growl and jumped up, looking around in panic. I listened intently, trying to find the sound of this horrible noise.. it growled again, more ferocious this time— and I realized that it was my stomach spewing profanity. I’m dead hungry.
 
I rolled out of bed and dragged myself to the fridge, ransacking my best friend’s food stock for my breakfast.
 
Ah! FrootLoops~! Joy~! I poured half of the contents of the milk carton into my happy 5, 250 yen Madoka bowl and ate to my hearts content. It was a nice day today, with that convenient storm outside. I opened a new liter of apple juice and drank like a madman, carrying my bowl of milk soaked FrootLoops to my bed, turning on my laptop with my toe in the process.
 
Oh, lookie. New episodes from . I still need to download the OST.
 
I was about to eat another spoonful of fruity sorcery when I felt something vibrate under my butt—
 
I DO NOT RECALL PURCHASING A VIBRATOR.
 
Oh wait, it’s my phone. I grabbed the contraption and cursed it before reading the message from Hana, a gaming buddy from not too long ago.
 
“Chiiro~ would you like to join our group?” Group. What group? I’m a lone wolf. I don’t need groups. Well, except for Tarou, my best friend, he’s an exception. “We’re a group of otaku connected through technology, from different places all over Japan.” Pffft. Bull. “The people are awesome here, Chiiro. You should really join.” This ignorant PEASANT is asking a KING to join her petty group of LOSERS?!
 
I narrowed my eyes and raised my chin, bearing my pride as I typed my reply. “Sure. How do you get in? :D” Wait. What did I just say?! I hurried to delete the message, but it was too late. The screen grinned at me mockingly, the two words that would soon bring me to my downfall written on it’s face: message sent.
 
Hana replied almost instantly, and I kept the phone as far away from as possible while reading the message, afraid that her enthusiasm might ruin my face. “Uwa~! Simple! You just need a code name, and our founder’ll be giving you a quiz to find out if you’re a real otaku.”
 
Holyshitseriously. Why are these people so proud of being geeks?! Of course I’m an otaku! How dare you question my knowledge? I am blessed and enlightened by Inquisitor Siggy herself! Blasphemous worms.
 
So it began, me joining this otaku group called Integrated Society of Anime Enthusiasts, or ISAE, as the geeks (okay, myself included) called it. Weeks past and I sent messages then and now, hiding myself behind the name Takane-ou. At school I would secretly reply to some of the group members’ messages, quite baffled by the idiocy of some, and the intelligence of few. VERY few. Two out of ten messaged had sense. Most of the messages were about their uninteresting lives, that they ate eggs in the morning and brushed their teeth before sleeping. Wow, how unique.
 
There are few times, too, that I get annoyed by intelligence. Like this one: Code name ‘Kizuna’, 18, a working girl from Harajuku. I swear if I see that woman’s face I am going to break it in half. Who does she think she is, telling me what to do?! Going on about why I shouldn’t message her best friend (this pretty megane girl code named ‘Kyanyan’ who is so moe) because it’s disturbing. Since when did having a crush on someone become disturbing? Is it so wrong to stalk all her blogs everyday and dedicate songs for her? I don’t think so. It’s perfectly normal, right? RIGHT?! Right.
 
Even though I loathed this ‘Kizuna’, she was someone who could keep a good conversation (with lots of weird emoticons included), maybe with some screws loose and bad mouthed, but cheery and hyperactive. Doesn’t change the fact that I don’t like her though. What slowly changed my opinion about her was the time when Hana (she was acting as Peace Maintaining Officer for the group) messaged us to write an incident report about a said quarrel that Kizuna and I had because of Kyanyan. What quarrel..? I don’t recall ever having a fight with her, all she said was that she didn’t like me, and i was fine with that.
 
I was in the middle of downloading Guilty Crown when I received a message from Kizuna. “Taka, please ignore the shit Hana sent you. I do not understand why she asked us to write a god smacking incident report. Sorry for getting you in to this.”
 
I sighed and replied. “It’s okay, I guess. But what’s it all about, Kizu?”
 
“Ugh. I asked if I could go incognito temporarily because I didn’t like receiving messages from you because all of them contain shit about Kyan.” I cringed. “But you’re okay with that, right? I mean, why make it a big deal? Seriously?” I nodded. That was true, I really didn’t give a fudge if Kizuna disliked me because I liked Kyanyan. To each his own, anyway.
 
“Yeah. Just don’t mind her, Kizu. She’s just doing her job.”
 
“Well, I guess so.” She said and I didn’t reply anymore. I put my phone back in my pocket and went back to what I was doing when it vibrated again.
 
It was another message from Kizuna. “Do you mind if I tell you something?”
 
“Uh, no? What is it? D:”
 
“There’s this other guy going after Kyan. *insert weird emoticon here* I don’t like him.”
 
 
I was like ‘asjafnalkhakhdjandagfafasd’. “What. Who?!”
 
“Ugh. Daisuke. You know him, right? That mother fucker who thinks he knows everything.”
 
“Yeah. He’s Hana’s younger brother.”
 
“Christ the fuck, for real?”
 
“Yeah. D:”
 
And I was flabbergasted at the next message that I received. “You know what, I don’t like the cheap bastard. I like you better, Taka. You make sense. That motherfucking bastard thinks he’s the best troll there is, I’d love to set him on fire someday. What’s worst is Kyan likes him back. Holy shitcups why does she like those kind of people.”
 
ajsdhkanhfaoifhamfnf;sgikdfkjawbnedaijfsdkfbasiryhoidfjcflmabfaiuhfiojdfaklhbslef. “D:”
 
Later that afternoon, Kyanyan did message me that she liked Daisuke, and she was all “I’m sorry, Takane-ou-san, you’re a good person, and I’m sure you’ll find someone better.” I felt like the world literally stopped just to kick me on the face. I sighed and ate something sweet to cheer me up. Will probably drown myself playing Diablo and listen to some good ole Capsule. After playing said game for more than six hours, I finally went to sleep with that disturbing idea of Daisuke and Kyanyan together. To hell I care. They can go and burn in hell.
 
***
 
I was in the lounge at school now, leeching on WiFi, herp derping on Niconico. I was waiting for Tarou, who still had classes until six, two more hours of waiting. I yawned and stretched my arms right when my cell phone vibrated in my pocket. Must be one of those geeks again. I took out my phone and flipped it open, reading the accursed message:
 
“Nice weather today, everyone nyan nyan~ *insert weird emoticon here* Hmmm~ Who’s up for some coffee? *insert another weird emoticon here* I’ll be out in a while, who wants to come?~  *insert a dozen of weird emoticons here* ” It was Kizuna and her weird emoticon-ry.
 
I concocted a somewhat nice reply. “Well I’m here at school trolling.”
 
“Oooh. Gots nothing to do? Maybe we could meet up and have coffee or something. Mwehe~” She said. Well I can’t just fly all over to Harajuku.
 
“I’ll pass. Still waiting for Tarou. Plus I’m hungry. Just reading random shit on the net.” I replied.
 
“Oh. Get something to eat, then. D:” I didn’t reply but got another message from her. “And can I tell you something…?” Ah, that question always brings bad news. I was about to ask her what it was when somebody hit me lightly on the shoulder.
 
“Yo, Suichiro!” It was Tarou, finally. “Let’s get something to eat. I’m dying.”
 
“If you’re dying, I already died an hour ago.” I rolled my eyes at his laughing image.
 
“Come on, come on! My treat.”
 
I grinned and packed my things in an instant. “Okay.” Free food forever!
 
We went home past eight, and I was in the middle of taking my shoes off when my phone vibrated again. Ah, right! I totally forgot about Kizuna, and it was another message from her.
 
“Happy evening guys~ *weird emoticon* Rewatching AnoHana because I like torturing myself. How about you? *emoticon emoticon*”
 
“Just got home, went out with Tarou and ate at KFC.” I replied.
 
She replied almost immediately. “I figured. lol”
 
“So what was it you wanted to tell me?” I asked.
 
“Oh.. uhm. Nevermind. *weird emoticon*”
 
“What. What was it?”
 
“It’s embarrassing, Taka. Oh god what am I saying.” Yeah. What are you saying? I feel some bad vibes coming in.
 
Another message. “Okay, let’s get this over with. I like you, Taka. I mean, not just the like— ah. You get me? I like you.”
 
My eyes widened. “T- Tarou—”
 
My best friend just came out of the bath and was still towelling his hair dry. “What?”
 
“Tarooooou..” I groaned, staring at him then at my phone, then back at him. “Taaaaaarouuuuuuu.”
 
“WHAT?!” He shot at me.
 
“Could you please hit me just once?”
 
“What would you like, a girly slap or a manly punch?”
 
“Whichever, as long as i know I’m awa— ” Idiot hit me on the forehead before I could finish my sentence. “FUDGET, THAT HURT!”
 
He laughed. “Well, I’m just doing you a favour.”
 
“Next time you do please take into consideration that you’re two times bigger than I am, you idiot.” I rubbed my throbbing forehead. “But thanks.”
 
Tarou shrugged and chuckled, going back to whatever he was doing before his happy bath time.
 
Whew. So I am awake, and this is for real. I reread Kizuna’s message again and again and stared at it for awhile before really absorbing what she meant. ‘You get me? I like you.’
 
Prrr. Prrr. Prrr. “Taka, you okay? No pressure here, alright? I mean.. I know you like Kyan.. so..”
 
“No, no. It’s okay, I guess. I just had to let Tarou hit me to make sure I’m not hallucinating or something. But.. but why?” Well, I mean, how would someone get to like me? I’m a bum, I rarely go out and I’m married to Hatsune Miku. I’m not that very good looking either, and I’m not a rich old man. Why would she like someone like me?
 
“Why..? I guess I don’t have a valid explanation. I think you can keep up a good conversation.. plus you make more sense than any other person I’ve known. *weird emoticon*”
 
“R-really.”
 
“Yeah.”
 
***
 
So it started. Every day was a messaging spree with Kizuna. We’d spend about five to eight hours just talking about non-sense, mostly about anime, and then games, and then it came to the point where we were just so comfortable with each other that we started to talk about personal stuff, or stuff under the hood. When she went online, we would chat while I played my games, and she’d get scolded by some of her friends who played online RPG’s with her. After a while we started exchanging calls, too, and she sounded like a bad mouthed Konata on the phone. I denied it at first, but I really did like Kizuna. She was bad mouthed and rough, but at times she could be sweet— with a strong hint of tsun. Which is good.
 
I was sitting on the terrace of our apartment, talking to Kizu on the phone, and she was going on about her best friend Gai, who was also her online-gaming buddy.
 
“Fuck Gai. Such an idiot. He keeps on bothering me while I’m trying to level up.” She said in her irate Konata tone.
 
I chuckled. “You could’ve slapped the guy.”
 
“I did. Bastard wouldn’t stop pestering me.”
 
I chuckled again, and then awkward pause.
 
“Have you had dinner yet, Taka?” She asked, obviously chewing something.
 
“Yeah, omelettes courtesy of Tarou.”
 
This time, she was the one who chuckled. “Good to have your personal chef, huh? Just got these cookies from Gai’s bag— stole them, to be exact.”
 
I laughed. “What’ll he do if he knew?”
 
“Tch. He hogs my PSP and I even make his dinner. Why the hell should he complain?” that followed by a hearty laughter. “And I better get some sleep now, Taka. I still have work tomorrow.”
 
“Yeah.”
 
“You get some rest, too. I’ll call when I wake up?” She said, a bit hushed.
 
“Yeah. Sure. Good night.”
 
“G’night. Sweet dreams.” And the line disconnected.
 
***
 
A few more months passed, and Kizuna and I decided to meet (finally)— which turned out to be very, very, very, very, very, very awkward. You get my point.
 
We met at a coffee shop, since she was a coffee junkie, and I was in the mood for some cake. She appeared to be a very short girl, short blonde hair, thick eyelashes (which were probably fake), circle lenses. Besides that, she had no make-up on (none that I’m familiar with, I guess) and she wore a white dress shirt with a black cross hanging around her neck, black stockings and platform shoes.
 
She smiled at me and bowed, and I smiled back and did the same.
 
“Takane-o. It’s nice to finally meet you.” She put a lock of hair behind her ear, looking away. “I’m Yuzuki, code name Kizuna.”
 
“Suichiro. Suichiro’s my real name. Or you can call me Chiiro. Whichever you’d like.” I shrugged, rubbing my neck. “You’re actually shorter than what I expected you to be, Yuzuki.”
 
“WHAT?! You prick, how dare you! Shut up! it’s not like you’re so tall or what!” She pouted.
 
I laughed. “Let’s just get in and get something to eat.”
 
I wanted to hide under a rock when I noticed people staring at us, especially at her, and they were whispering.. eyes still glued on us.
 
“Don’t mind them, the fuckers..” and she murmured something under her breath. I shrugged it off and paid for the both of us.
 
We sat by the window and I was glancing at her once and a while. She sat opposite to me, sipping her chocolate-mint frappo, playing with her food.
 
“So, do you wanna go somewhere?” I asked, my voice breaking in the end. I cleared my throat and looked away, quite embarrassed.
 
She laughed at that, covering her mouth and nose with her hand, ducking beneath the table.
 
I blinked a few times. “K- Kizu— I mean, Yuzuki? Are you okay?”
 
 
She raised a hand and shook it, speaking in a muffled voice. “Frappo went out of my nose.” She blindly searched the table with her visible hand, and I handed her some table napkins, getting a muffled thanks.
 
She ‘resurfaced’, still wiping her nose and chuckling a bit. “Oh Christ. You just looked so moe I had to laugh—” and she did, quite loudly.
 
I hit my face with my palm and laughed with her, shaking my head.
 
“I wanna go get Kuroshitsuji’s new volume. And maybe another copy of Shonen Jump, I fell asleep on mine and it’s— well you get what happens to magazines when they get drooled on.” She said, laughing again, standing up.
 
“Oh, you.” I rolled my eyes, chuckling. “But yeah, let’s go.”
 
***
 
I went with shopping with her for awhile, helping her decide on what wig to get and which pair of shoes to buy. Might sound gay but it’s actually fun doing this with Yuzuki. She says the darnest things, making fun of clothing she doesn’t like without even bothering to lower down her voice, and looking at the people’s faces who heard her was pretty entertaining.
 
She said something funny about my pants as well, but I don’t really want to remember that.
 
After shopping we had dinner at KFC, where she was fan-girling about Kyary Pamyu Pamyu’s future Krusher’s endorsment— And I told her that I didn’t really like Kyary.
 
“I can’t believe it! Why don’t you like her?!” She whined.
 
I laughed and shrugged. “Just not my thing.”
 
She pouted. “Whatever. Just to let you know Owl City sounds like retarded candyland music.”
 
“What?” I was surprised, but laughed instead. “I like Owl City! They’re good!”
 
“Do you even understand English?” She shot at me.
 
“Well, you don’t either, Yuzuki! But you still listen to Lady Gaga!” I shot back, grinning.
 
She gasped. “You do too, you idiot!”
 
I laughed.
 
Pause.
 
Yuzuki’s phone vibrated on the table. She tapped the screen and picked it up. “Oh. It’s my mom. She wants me to go home now.”
 
I sipped from my Krushers. “Want me to get you to the train station, then?”
 
“Oh, sure.” She smiled. “Let’s get going.”
 
We walked side by side in silence, and I caught her glancing at me from time to time.
 
“Ne, Chiiro.”
 
“Hmm?”
 
“What do you think of me?” She covered her face with her hand and looked away.
 
I chuckled. “Well, you’re somebody I wouldn’t want to have sex with because it’s too awkward.”
 
“IDIOT!” She barked at me, punching my shoulder. I laughed rubbing the spot.
 
She sighed and looked away again. “I really, really like you, Suichiro. I just want to know if you could accept my feelings or shit like that. This is stupid. Just tell me if you don’t like me, okay? Don’t keep me-“
 
“But I do like you.” I grabbed her arm, quite unaware of what I was doing. “I like you, Yuzuki. You’re bad mouthed and impulsive but you’re funny, and I like that.”
 
“Oh.” She looked away again. “Oh.”
 
“Yuzuki.” A middle aged woman was standing near the train station’s entrance, her face stern, eyebrows raised.
 
Yuzuki’s eyes narrowed. “Mom.”
 
“It’s already late, come home with me.”
 
Yuzuki shrugged. “Mom, this is Suichiro.. he’s my…” She looked at me. “..my boyfriend.”
 
I bowed and greeted, but her mother didn’t even look at me.
 
“Yes, whatever you say. Let’s get going now.  We’re going to miss the train.”
 
She sighed. “My parents never like the people I hang out with. Guess I’ll see you next time?”
 
I nodded and smiled. “I’ll call.”
 
She smiled and kissed my cheek, and turned away to go after her mother.
 
***
 
I went home with a smile plastered on my face. I was just opening the door to the apartment when I noticed Tarou was behind me, peering at my face with a distressed look. “Oi.”
 
“Yeah?”
 
“You look sick.” He grunted.
 
“Sick? No, I feel fine.” I chuckled.
 
“Sick as in ‘disgusting’, Chiiro.” He raised his brows. “Now I don’t have anyone to be forever alone with on Valentines.”
 
“What?” I laughed. “Who told you—”
 
“‘Oh, Chiiro, I really like you, you make my heart go dokidoki, how I love you kyun kyun kyun~’.” He said in a girly voice, batting his eyelashes. “I saw you and your cute Goldilocks.” He narrowed his eyes at me.
 
“Whatever, Tarou. I’m going to sleep.” I shook my head, waving him off.
 
“It’s all an illusion, Chiiro! Love is just a trick!” He followed me into the room.
 
I rolled my eyes, chuckling.
 
My phone vibrated in my pocket and I flipped it open to read the message, it was from Yuzuki, just as I hoped. “Hope you got home safe, just got a long sermon from dad. LOL. Goodnight. Suki.” Followed by a long string of hearts and emoticons.
 
I stared at my phone for a while, smiling. It was good to have someone else aside from your friends to talk to. Someone who’d actually be interested to know about your day, and never get bored no matter how plain it was. Someone who’d listen to your stupid jokes and laugh just because nobody’s laughing. Someone you could call special. In my case, that would be Yuzuki.
 
***
 
FINALLY! Summertime~! More time for gaming, anime, manga and sleeeep~!! weeee~ I could finally download all the shit I’ve missed out on and read all the books I want! Plus get Tarou to cook me more food and— Okay, I should stop that.
 
Today is a beautiful day, and since it is the first day of summer and I’ve finished all my school work in sixteen hours, Yuzuki and I decided to meet at a local coffee shop somewhere in Harajuku. I was in the middle of changing when my phone rang. It was her.
 
“Would it be okay if you come to my place instead? The hospital told my parents I was very sick, and that I can’t go out today. Nurses are on guard.” She said through a husky voice.
 
I was a bit perplexed. “Oh. Did you take your meds?”
 
“Yeah. They’re shoving pills and tablets up my throat.” We both chuckled.
 
“Do you want me to get you anything on the way?” I asked, looking at my wriggling toes.
 
Pause.
 
“Anything would be fine.” She said, her voice a bit pinched.
 
“Alright, then. See you.”
 
So I took off and went to get Kizuna some French Macaroons on the way.
 
I finally got her place after the frustrating train ride, and was a little confused at all the hullabaloo going on outside. There were people in white, nurses maybe, though the strange uniform, outside her house. Somewhere whispering to each other, and I found an elderly couple standing in the doorway. The woman was crying in her husband’s arms, and a female nurse was trying to comfort her— they seemed to be—
 
Wait— did something bad happen to Yuzuki?
 
“Uhm, excuse me…” I tried approaching them, but none of them seemed to have noticed me. I turned to another lady nurse who was scribbling something on her notebook and checking her watch. “Excuse me, I’m— I’m a friend of Yuzuki’s— Is she—” The nurse I was talking to turned and walked away. I felt aghast. Why were these people avoiding me?
 
I shook my head, took my initiative and went inside Yuzuki’s house, excusing myself (though everyone was ignoring me) and finding her room. I heard a loud crash upstairs and ran to the source of the noise, when a man rushed past me, Yuzuki’s father, I suppose. He made a sharp turn, entering the room to his left. “YUZUKI! SNAP OUT OF IT!”
 
I stopped dead when I heard her ear-piercing scream. “NO! LET ME SEE HIM!! I NEED SUICHIRO!! LET GO OF ME!!” I ran to her room, and found her on the floor, her father restraining her.
 
I starred, jaw-dropped, dropping the macaroons at what her father said.
 
“Please, Yuzuki! Suichiro is NOT real! HE’S NOT REAL!!” Then I realized that she was wearing a straight jacket, her hair in a complete mess. “He’s just your imagination, Yuzuki! Stop this madness!!”
 
“NO!! NO!! He’s real— he’s REAL!! Mom saw him! Ask Mommy!! I swear, she saw him!! You can ask Tarou, too!! Tarou will definitely say he’s real!!” She was whailing now, kicking and flailing. “Daddy, please— Suichiro—!! Mom, tell dad he’s real!! HE’S REAL!!”
 
“Yes, I am real!” I said, trying to catch her father’s attention. “I exist! I’m right here!!”
 
“Suichiro! Suichiro!! Dad, he’s here! He’s right behind you, dad!” She reached towards me, smiling. “Go get Tarou so he could tell them you’re real!”
 
“I will, Yuzuki..” I walked towards her, wanting to at least hold her hand.
 
Her father shook his head, completely ignoring my presence. “Mamiya-san!”
 
A nurse went in the room carrying a syringe, and injected its contents to Yuzuki’s arm.
 
She screamed, trying to resist. “No, no.. stop.. Suichiro.. save me..”
 
I grabbed her hand, horrified that I couldn’t even touch her. My fingers were going right through hers. No.. this can’t be happening. Of course I’m real! How—
 
As the medicine took effect, she slowly closed her eyes, still murmuring my name.. as she slipped out of consciousness, everything around me started to fade as well.
 
***
 
Tarou was right. It was all a trick.

Posted
4 months ago
"Ericka" - WTNV fanart 
pen and water color pencils
joe lestrange 2014&#160;

ANGELS ARE NOT REAL. THEY DO NOT EXIST&#8212; but then again.. neither do you.

"Ericka" - WTNV fanart
pen and water color pencils
joe lestrange 2014 

ANGELS ARE NOT REAL. THEY DO NOT EXIST— but then again.. neither do you.

Notes
21
Posted
5 months ago

Okay I’m listening to WTNV while looking at Carlos-Cecil fan art and I CAN NOT CONCENTRATE I AM FAN GIRLING TOO HARD I CANTAHZZNAANMAHSKAMSBHA

Posted
5 months ago
My take on our beloved Cecil. 
Watercolor pencils. 
2014

My take on our beloved Cecil.
Watercolor pencils.
2014

Notes
7
Posted
5 months ago
Thor:You're really that good?
Loki:Better.. *grins* I'm Loki.
Notes
3
Posted
5 months ago
Loki - The Gospel of Loki, Joanne M. Harris

Loki - The Gospel of Loki, Joanne M. Harris

Notes
22
Posted
6 months ago
Loki - The Gospel of Loki, Joanne M. Harris

Loki - The Gospel of Loki, Joanne M. Harris

Notes
2
Posted
6 months ago

I am jealousy, bitterness and possessiveness rolled into one

Posted
6 months ago
&#8212; Tengo Kawana, 1Q84

— Tengo Kawana, 1Q84

Notes
4
Posted
6 months ago
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